The Tao of Gaming

Boardgames and lesser pursuits

I’m a wizard …

We had a power outage at work last week. For a programmer (without a laptop), that’s magic time. Walk the halls, chat up coworkers, and relax. But this outage was major–we heard the transformer pop and spent the first ten minutes scanning the city from our 9th story figuring out how big an area was out. Big.

Eventually, nature called. Like most restrooms, this one had no windows. I was worried about Grues and whatnot, but then I remembered — I’m a wizard. I took out my cellphone and popped it open — Light!

Later on, I wondered — Just how good a wizard am I? Let’s see (I grabbed Arcana Evolved instead of the basic book, just to mix things up)

Door warning — Yeah, my doors can send me a message when they are opened. No biggie.

Conjure weapon — To be sure, there’s a long casting time.

Glamour — check.

Predict Weather. Control Temperature. Darkvision. Loresight. Waterbreathing. Invisibility (sadly, there’s a saving throw  …). Remove disease.

Let’s stop pussy footing around with low level spells. I could hit most of them, and those I couldn’t are mainly because I don’t need to turn undead. (If I did, a shotgun would do the trick).

Scrying at a distance? How is this even a fifth level spell? Man, fantasy magic sucks. My kids do this every day. We’re starting to understand the language of plants, for my druid friends.

Flight? Check! Need to move around a few thousand pounds quickly? Material component — forklift. Speaking in tongues — babblefish is just the tip of the iceberg.

Now, can I do each and every one of those things? No, mainly because I lack the material components. But most of them are easy enough to get. I’d say right now the world is full of 10th level wizards, and has a fair number of serious mages, devoted to creating new spells, or turning exotic spells (known only to a few) into simpler versions that the masses of humanity can use.

I can send a nearly instantaneous message to anyone in the world. I can meet them in under 24 hours (assuming the town guards don’t dick me around). And nobody considers any of this magical, because we call it “Science.” Your average wizard has no idea how these things work, they just cast the spell.

Pretty amazing, that.

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Written by taogaming

January 26, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Posted in Misc

4 Responses

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  1. I roll to disbelieve. Ha, knew it!

    Larry Levy

    January 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm

  2. “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

    Alexfrog

    January 27, 2010 at 1:32 pm

  3. I’ve always considered science and engineering to be the magic of the real world. Over the last few years, I’ve noticed that both of these can be at least as or more powerful than those things Raislin was doing back when he was trying to take over the world.

    this revelation caused 3 effects:

    1- Noticed how wonderful the world is. Makes me giddy thinking about it.

    2- Decided I was very happy being an engineer.

    3- Shifted my video RPG playing characters from pure magicians to item based characters such as Alchemists or Enchanters.

    Felix

    January 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm

  4. Only because D&D was a wargame before it was an RPG and they didn’t really understand what fantasy magic was:

    http://www.stephenrdonaldson.com/EpicFantasy.pdf

    Chris

    January 28, 2010 at 2:27 am


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